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update: surgery scheduled

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so I met with the gyno-oncologist yesterday and somehow really, truly expected she'd say this was all a false alarm and nothing is likely wrong. I thought she'd offer preventative, elective BSO as I'm BRCA+ and we'd talk about doing it sometime in spring maybe or after I turn 40.

Instead, she said she's really concerned and does not even consider a BSO to be elective at this point. She thinks it's necessary and only adding a hysterectomy for adenomyosis would be my choice. So, surgery is scheduled for Dec 15 and they are taking out my ovaries, tubes, uterus and cervix.

She said to there are 3 ways this could go:

1) they see cancer during the surgery and then it will go from laparascopic to big incision and debulking. If they see something suspicious, but not certainly cancer, they will treat as if it is cancer. This would of course be followed by chemo.

2) they don't see cancer, so remove what was agreed to laparascopically and send to lab. In 4-6 weeks lab results could come back that there was cancer or precancer there. This would mean another surgery for looking around and debulking followed by chemo.

3) they don't see cancer and the lab results come back in 4-6 weeks with no cancer or precancer. I heal from this surgery, take HRT for 5-10 years, and am done.

Obviously, I'm praying for #3 but now realize this will be a lot more waiting. Waiting until surgery. Waiting for lab results. I also realize that I don't think life will ever truly be the same. Even #3 is a bit scary with surgical menopause and it's consequences. I have a history of major healling problems. Every sugery I've ever had took my 4X longer to heal than is considered normal and my scars are always huge and permanently painful.

I also now need to tell my kids since so far, I've said nothing. I think I will tell them this is preventatitve due to BRCA and cross the cancer bridge with them only if necessary when the time comes.

thanks for letting me post here and for your support. I just needed to share. This all feels so real and scary.

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